You know you are in trouble when there are more parts than letters in the alphabet

As many of you know, we moved out of our house of 26 years to some new digs about 1-1/2 miles away. The one floor house/office is perfect for this aging couple.
It took a humongous effort on the part of many individuals to make the Monday/Tuesday move. Thanks to friends Bill Hammond, Rick Healy, Dave and Louise Hoffman Broach, niece Karen Heisig, sisters Lorraine and Judy, son Devin and wife Christy, son Wade.

Then there were the guys who pulled off the electrical, cable lines, building and heavy moving stuff, Ken Soscia, Jim Conklin, Greg Whitney, Dave Byrd, Tim Johnson and Tanner Fox.

Then, there were the really brave souls including myself, and sons Devin and Wade along with Dave Byrd who were the group that stayed later. We were the front line guys appointed to put all the new office desks and furniture together.

You know the stuff. It says easy-to-assemble, only a phillips head screwdriver and the supplied allen wrench needed to accomplish this task for those ages 3 years and older.

You immediately know you are in trouble when there are more parts than letters in the alphabet. When they begin to name odd pieces and parts ‘AA’ and ‘BB’ that sweat begins to show.

I allowed Son Wade to tackle the first smaller desk, feeling this was match for his limited talents and short temper at putting things together. While I rested after the move in the other room, Wade attacked the desk with all the fervor of a super hero. After the first hour passed I heard swearing, things being tossed around and the yell for a drill since obviously the Chinese guy who designed this thing and did the directions had no idea what he was doing. Three hours later he finished, with some screws and bolts left over.

The next day Son Devin and myself gave the matching desk a whirl, laughing at Son Wade’s tirade the day before. Within two hours we too were swearing and throwing things. The professional put-together guys working on other parts of the house came in, added their expertise, and likewise became frustrated.

We decided that this had to be a plot by the Chinese designers and direction writers to frustrate the American know-it-alls. We refused to surrender and the desks are now, somewhat standing. Parts of the third and final desk drawers are laying about. We fully intend to get to those sometime in the near future.

For those customers frustrated by our lack of response on either Monday, or Tuesday, the phone lines and internet service were all screwed up, regardless of advanced planning. By Wednesday morning I had 335 e-mails backlogged and the phone voice mail was equally backed up.

We put out an abbreviated Thursday online edition for subscribers and began working in earnest on the weekend edition of the Times on Thursday afternoon.
The good news is that the dust is settling on the move and we are almost back to normal. We only lost some of our stuff that is surely packed away in one of those million of boxes piled up in the basement.

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